Clarity that is Lost and Found

by Kristin A. Militante


It is a hot summer day. I stroll around the oasis, aware that my skin is taking in the rays of the sun. I feel strong and unbreakable. A sanguine tune plays inside my head. I listen to its beat, its rhythm; effortlessly, my pace is in harmony with it.

Suddenly, I am caught in a whirlwind. My serene mind is immersed in chaos. The music is replaced by unrestrained noise. I hear millions of voices. Each voice tells me to do one thing from another. Each voice insists me to follow, urging me to make a move right away.

With my body disarrayed and my head dizzy, I find it hard to think. I seek silence, but it is nowhere to be found. I want to go back to the oasis -- my oasis. The voices seduce me and say I only have to follow in order to get my wish granted.

With no clue what else to do, I act mainly on instinct. I believe these voices, no matter how contradicting they are with each other. I do what each voice tells me to do, trusting that I will get out of this tornado.

Yet instead of finding solace, I am torn apart. Each voice tightly clings to me, giving me no chance to restrain it. A voice pulls me here, while another forcefully tugs me to the opposite direction. I experience extreme pain all over my body, but because my mind is severely muddled, I find no strength to fight these imperious voices.

I am violently shredded to pieces. Tiny parts of me swirl along with the ghastly twister, splitting into miniscule parts. Oddly, I am still breathing; alive, despite the morbidity of it all.

Now that I have reached my most disoriented state, I accept that what I see before me is my fate. Gone are the days of my bright, jolly walks along the oasis. The fresh air that I breathe in, the sunshine seeping through my skin, the unlimited amount of power in my veins, the optimistic vibe I feel, the lucidity of my mind -- I miss it all. I grieve, realizing that my life was gone in an instant.

In the midst of my melancholic cry, a surge of anger runs within my soul. I become furious with the whirlwind and the voices for taking clarity away from me.

From this wrath, I manage to pull myself together. I shut the voices out until the only sound I hear is the sound of my own voice and my heart beating. I notice the sun shining above me. Looking directly at it, my soul is quenched, like a plant watered by the first rainfall of the season.

I think only of myself and of the sun. The twister is swirling faster now, but I am unaffected. I keep my eyes fixed on the sun, while my spirit sings a song in tune with my heartbeat. The faster the twister moves, the louder I sing my song.

Suddenly, I can see nothing but bright light surrounding me. The wounds I acquired are healed and vanish. My skin is back to the way it was before -- perfect; showing no sign of the injuries the whirlwind cast upon me. In my head plays the song of my heart.

Gradually, the light around me subsides. I catch a scent of fresh leaves and newly bloomed flowers.

I am overwhelmed of the view that unraveled in front of me. The oasis is gone. Instead, a luscious garden stands in its place. The trees, plants, animals and the wind sing my song in unison.

It is a hot summer day. I stroll around the garden, aware that my skin is taking in the rays of the sun. I am strong and unbreakable. Together with my heart, the inhabitants of the garden play my sanguine song. I listen to its beat, its rhythm. Automatically, my pace is in harmony with everything else.